There are moments when I catch myself smiling
Because I’m reminded of the times we shared,
And there are moments when I feel like I’m dying
From all the aches, pains and guilt that I have bared.
There are moments where I’m energized and feel compelled to live a life worthy enough for two,
And there are moments where I want to trade everything away for just a few minutes with you.
But not a day has gone by, since you’ve made your farewell
That I don’t want to cry, or to simply raise hell.
It’s been tough, I’ll be honest,
I have definitely not enjoyed it.
There are days where I can barely function,
But I do my best to not avoid it.
As heart wrenching as remembering you might be,
I think I’m more frightened by what I might not see.
This idea that you might go away for good,
Just seems much more wrong than anything else could.
So here I lay at an hour past midnight,
Writing to you while I wait for the sunlight.
A small tribute to the prolific writings you once produced.
Although, with this, my own vomit is all that may be induced.